Where I Live

in two parts

Day

The rhythm of my footsteps is like a heartbeat.  I walk today in the undulating fields by our home in southwest New Hampshire; green, open and innocent.  In the crisp, cut hay-grass, I relax into myself.  These fields are actually one unbroken landscape in the shape of a rugged ‘C’ that surrounds the back and sides of our little house.  I relish this walk, this time of swinging arms and legs while breathing big chest breaths, for it is not all year that I can walk here easily.  In deep summer, before the hay is cut, and in deep winter, too, the obstacles, both grasses and snow, can be hip deep.  At those times I can gaze out upon them dreamily from my mown yard perched just above, enjoying watching the sea of shifting colors and shade, and the occasional crossing of turkeys, hawks, deer, foxes and humans.  But it is not until I can get out into the fields; running with a kite, walking into the mist on a summer evening, flying downhill with a child on a sled, that I receive its best gifts:  a subtle and energizing spaciousness opening within inner spaces of heart and soul where there had been tension.  Call it a blooming of my flower-heart.

Every time I enter it, this field graces me with another, tiny, healing.  The effect is so quiet as to be unnoticeable at times.  It is analogous to discovering a personal ‘attic’; the forgotten room-self of dreams where one reconnects with a larger sense of herself beyond roles, and finds a brief doorway out of the routines of a settled life and into rooms of unlimited possibility.  For me it has proven to be a simple and profound way to shift perspectives and lighten a mood.

As I move through these sweeping field nuances, listening to crickets or red-winged blackbirds and often with the smell of wet earth lifting up to fill my nose, our Black Labrador dog trots along.  I have to thank her for getting me out of the house in the first place.  Once we are beyond doors I can enter a connectedness with my senses that is vast and satisfying, and which unleashes creative thought.   Flooded with aesthetics I sometimes sit in the sun to ponder a painting I am working on, or to resolve a career direction, or wonder how in the world to be an effective mother to two boys.    Over seventeen years I have crisscrossed and circumnavigated these planes of field in many ways; alone, pregnant, with children and especially with my husband.  Yet I am sure there are one hundred thousand other ways to move there that are as yet unexplored.   Unlike our country road I often use for exercise—down one side and back the other for two or three miles—this earth for me is like the body of a beloved one with muscles and curves, with folds so attractive and comforting that I am made happier by coming upon them another time; seeing anew the simple perfect beauty of a tuft of red clover.

Evening

At the hairline of the field is a woods.  The woods go deep and mostly undisturbed by development for several miles.  It is of course a quiet place, with a pristine stream, extensive wetlands and sinewy hills.  In a particularly fine bend of the hairline of the woods is a stand of Aspens. These lithe and eager trees were much smaller when I first arrived.  I have watched them withstand forces of ice storms and drought, pitied their black scars and scoliotic adaptations, and taken some degree of pride in their survival.  Their metaphors of growth, of multiplying sapling ‘families’ spreading, and of unsentimental life cycles continue to show themselves to me as I need them.

This hairline is the spot where my husband and I were married.  We had a circle mowed in the summer grass, and discreetly invited our closest family and friends to join us on an August afternoon as we tied the knot.  Together our group formed an unbroken circle, standing for and witnessing the potential of our new union.  I know the nearby coyotes, whose ancestral lines go back here far longer than I have lived, were witness to this act of courage and optimism.  Now, tonight, and many years later, as I sit at the window seat in our home facing west to the field on a balmy October night, the full moon lights that Aspen bark in the distance.  Through the open windows I can hear the coyotes howl and yip to us from their dens beyond, reminding us of our promises to each other. 

I wonder sometimes how one piece of land can be so inspirational.  I don’t know this for certain, but I feel for me it comes from the creating of a bond.  I have bonded to this little piece of earth like a child to a backyard woods.  Yet this bond is so far beyond the parks and woodlands I had known as a child in the suburbs of Massachusetts.  And, as is similar to the bonds created between people in relationships of all kinds; with notions of stability, comfort and refuge, and of receptivity on both parts, time brings a trust that allows for infinite encounters and reckonings.  I may not always live in this house by this field of hay, but it has given me so much.  When winter comes and the deep snow is crusty-hard I will walk out there in the darkness under a moon as round and radiant as this one.  I will be dressed from head to toe in down and wool.  And I will lie on my back to look up at the stars to ask the big questions.   I have faith now that in the stillness and the blackness of that night with those big questions the guidance will come, that this behemoth of an adviser whose skin I rest upon will deliver the answers to me in a way that I understand and can move forward with.

Before I move away, though, I will go to the hairline of the woods where we were married.  I will deftly dig up a little sapling, being especially cautious of its roots, and take it with me to wherever my new home will be.  Like family.

Despite the fact that we have recently elected the coolest president ever, and that there is a far greater chance of seeing our future world much more like the world I have always wanted because of Barack Obams’s influence on us all, our world remains a stressful place.  I imagine that lately you have watched your stress go from somewhat abstract (e.g. terrorism in Pakistan) to incredibly concrete, meaning right inside your wallet, as the economy seizes.  The consequences are varied depending on your situation but my clients are expressing a lot of fear these last few weeks.

When stress becomes chronic, with days, weeks and months of unrelenting pressure, our bodies shift into the fight-flight attitude to be prepared for danger.  The damage can go beyond a bad mood.  Robert Sapolsky, professor of biological sciences at Stanford University and an authority on stress, states, “In fight-or-flight, your body turns off all the long-term building and repair projects.  Constant high livels of cortisol take your body’s eye of the ball.  Memory and accuracy are both impaired.  Patrols for invaders aren’t sent out, you tire more easily.”  You can imagine where this can lead to over several years.

Within the BodyMind Toolbox are some tools relating to stress management that may be of some help.   My own background has been in the use of stress management as a means to boost health and reduce pain, but these pointers can be used for absolutely any stressors acting  as obstacles in your path to wellbeing.  Though there are many ways to approach reducing stress in the body such as breathing, meditation, exercise and psychotherapy, today I want to simply explain a fundamental chemical shift that you will be able to learn and apply easily and successfully any time you feel the need.   

The chemical oxytocin, “the bonding hormone”, is maybe best known for the way it influences the mother-baby bond.  When a mother holds and cares for her baby, oxytocin is released into her system, strengthening the feelings of love and protection.  In other forms of touch, such as massage, the same hormone may be secreted which, then, triggers the release of DHEA, and anti-ageing, anti-stress hormone that influences cellular restoration in the body.  All good news.

Bringing conscious focus to experiencing appreciation or gratitude for aspects of your life can speed healing and positively affect your immunity.  Dr. Rollin McCraty of the HeartMath Institute is studying the link between emotions and physical health.  What he has found is that appreciation, contentment and love all trigger oxytocin.  “This is a bonding hormone secreted by the heart whenever you feel open and connected,” he says.  “It switches off stress by causing the nervous system to relax.” 

The HeartMath system, designed to trigger this inner shift, is a simple three-step process you can try right now for a mini-retreat, right there in your chair by your computer.  Find a way to sit loosely and comfortably and try this on:  (The following is excerpted from HeartMath literature.)

1.  Heart Focus

The first step is to focus your attention in the area around your heart.  You can place your hand over your heart to help.

2.  Heart Breathing

The second step is to pretend you are breathing through your heart area.  Breathe slowly and gently (to a count of 5 or 6) until your breathing feels smooth and balanced.  Do this for about one minute and notice any changes. 

3.  Heart Feeling

The third step involves positive feeling and attitudes.  Continue to breathe through the area of your heart and find a positive feeling, like appreciation for someone or something.  You can recall a time when you felt appreciation or care and re-experience that feeling.  It could be for a pet, a special place in nature, or an activity that was fun.  Once you have found a positive feeling—sustain this feeling by continuing heart focus, heart breathing and heart feeling.

Once you have completed the steps, ask yourself, “How can I handle _______ better?”  With practice, you’ll find you have more intuitive choices or options for what you might do next—even in the middle of a challenging or high-pressure situation. 

My personal experience with this technique has been positive.  Though it can be difficult to release the grip of fear or anger at any moment, I find that holding to a commitment to regain positivity gets me there within minutes and moves me to a place of hope and sweetness.

I hope this helps.

Do you wish you were more disciplined sometimes?  Are there healthy habits you’d like to start incorporating into your day and just haen’t gotten around to doing?  (Maybe for decades?  I’m guilty!)  I think we all could find areas in our thinking, behavior or routines where there is room for improvement, but we just don’t know how to get there from here.  Each day begins with promise as you wait for an extra few minutes to work out, meditate, shop organic, call a friend.  By late afternoon, though, (does this sound familiar?) the promise fades as responsibilities squeeze the last remaining free moments left in the day.  We have disappointed ourselves again.

Just yesterday I read an article in Massage Therapy Journal that spelled out that it takes at least twenty-one days to begin a new habit.  Twenty-one days.  We are asked to think about our happiest and most efficient days, the days we feel successful.  What happens on those days?  What makes them succesful and meaningful?  Try that on for youself.   Do you start those days with a quiet meditation or walk?  Do you get right to the keyboard to work on your novel or memoir?  Do you eat a nutritious breakfast with the carb/protein/fat balance you need?

Here’s your challenge:  Take one activity from one of those meaningful days that you would like to make a habit, and promise yourself to incorporate it into every day for twenty-one days.  If you need structure or reminders, then stock up on Post-its and stick them to the fridge, your bathroom mirror, your work station, etc.  You might also like to tell your promise to a friend or partner, and ask for them to help to coach you to success.  Don’t go to bed any day until you have fulfilled your new habit promise!

I’ll tell you my new habit.  As a certified Yoga teacher, I have an abundance of knowledge and experience with postures and practices, enough to allow me great expansiveness and personal growth.   My tendency is to fit my practice in where I can squeeze it , feeling sure that there will be openings here and there, such as after breakfast, between clients, while dinner is cooking, etc.  What does that do to my practice?  It chops it into pieces so that it loses its depth.  It drops its priority ranking  below the business phone calls, unexpected crises and sweeping the spider webs from that corner up there.  And then it just doesn’t move me forward in the direction I want to go.  So, as of today I am promising myself (and you are witness) to beginning my day with yoga practice for twenty to thirty minutes.  For twenty-one days.  First thing.  Even before the cat gets fed.  It feels good already. 

Please join me!  What can you start today?  Think hard about your excuses.  You could make that same excuse for twenty more years, and then what have you got?  Just remember that we all have somehow incorporated the habit of brushing our teeth every day, without fail, right?  It’s a little like that.  Get the structure going to make it stick and you’re on your way.  The distance between you and the life you want is really only as wide as a promise to yourself for twenty-one days.

Hello All,

  Over a span of thirty-something years I have followed a process of inquiry into the human body, creativity and psychology.  Amazing journey!  And, I’m not nearly done.

My wish is for this space to be a place to express, explore and share, and I hope you will engage with me in dialogue that makes us all more informed people.

The BodyMind Toolbox is a trademarked name that I use to describe the body of knowledge I hold from my experiences in learning and working.  I will cover many topics in this theme as we go along.

Blessings,

Susan

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!