When I receive a phone call from a client who is in crisis, either from spasm or acute strain/pain, often the mood is panicked.  Worries about the severity of damage and the potential interference with daily activities and responsibilities can understandably send us through the roof with anxiety. 

Here is a quick tip that I pass along when appropriate:  Drop the mental chatter.  To truly understand the severity of the injury, we need to separate from the mental plane and focus with gentleness on the physical plane.  The physical plane is where we can assess and release.  By removing the burden of fear from the pain site one is left with the simple pain itself, which can be much less overwhelming and easier to control.

Getting in to your massage therapist as soon as scheduling is possible is recommended, but as you wait try on this approach and feel the relief!

May is lush and looks and smells so fabulous, yet I am not feeling my usual bliss.  The problem is, like so many of us people of the world, the sour economy has hit home in a big way.  Though my work is fairly busy and satisfying, my husband has been out of work for almost eight months.  We live with the forboding uncertainty of not knowing if we will need to pack up and move, or take a drastic reduction in our already-pretty-humble lifestyle, all the while trying to keep our respective (heavy) chins up with two sons in private colleges.

I have searched the inner cupboard of my soul for variations on hope many times over these months.  Every time so far I have been able to find a new variety (see Self-Coaching  in an earlier post), and have been able to be in gratitude and patience and even excitement about what is to come.   This time, after a really sweet  job prospect disappeared for him, I really fell on my face and the cupboard appeared ransacked of any crust of hope. 

I can assure you that I don’t like facing the ground I have just hit, but I have to say that I see it not as a regression but as a new form of growth.  I am gropingly, awkwardly exploring methods of accomodating severe adversity while continuing on with the normal chaos of family and professional life.  While I am not happy,  I know I am deepening into some form of greater potential.   And as I learn to bear this discomfort, I grow less alarmed by its existence in my life.   I believe that this is an example of  neuroplasticity, the ability to profoundly affect our nervous system through practice.   Breathe in, breathe out, times a million.

Because I am so receptive to solutions for sanity within all this discomfort at the moment, I happened to notice an artice written by author MJ Ryan.  She coaches people in transition to label the many chapters of their lives.  Once they have done that she asks them to deeply explore what might be next.   When there is a clear, gut sense or vision of the developing dream, she asks that they ‘name’ the chapter. 

That last step really appeals to me.  By coming unstuck from the spinning-my-wheels chapter I can see that I can break free of that darn stage and begin to step again into possiblity, joy and hope.  The present is what I am coping with, with as much aplomb and strength as I can muster, but the future is mine to create. 

Though this post has largely been a story of my present life, I wonder if it has appealed to you because of changes that are happening in your own life.   If you had an afternoon to sit down to label the chapters of your life, what do you think you would find for chapter names?  And, later in that afternoon, when you would have had time to dwell on your vision for what you would like to develop next, how might  that come into focus and how might you name your next chapter?   If that afternoon is just what you need, I encourage you to get out your planner right now and schedule some time.

I don’t have a name for it yet, my next chapter, but I am savoring the new excitement I feel simply from shifting from the difficult present to the possibilities that are imminent.  Feels a little bit like the May lushness surrounding me today.

It’s late February. It’s cold. The walking is icy and the sky is grey and foreboding. How do you spell relief?
Here’s an idea.
This mini retreat idea doesn’t quite hit the spot like a trip to Belize like everyone else seems to be taking! (Grrrrrrr) But, it is very refreshing and may be the kind of thing that can get you through until the buds start to sprout again and happiness prevails.
OK, the mini-mini version happens right there where you sit in your chair at this moment. This is the two-to-five-minute version. Lean back away from your screen and toward the back support of your seat. All you need to do now is take this time to come to awareness of your breath. Notice the sensation of cool breath entering your nostrils, and the slightly warmer feel of air exiting. Stay with that for ten or so breaths, and then take your hand and hold it over your heart. Become aware of the steady pulsing of heart muscle, of life moving, of your beautiful soul alive and sustaining you in this moment. Send a little love there and hang out, being with the breath and the pulse and your own precious life. Allow your heart now to rest upon the lungs behind it and the diaphragm below it. Just rest now for this is your retreat, and your organs can be support for this very loyal heart of yours!
Now take two hands to your ribcage and bring a fullness to your breath, expanding up toward your collar bone and your shoulder blades on the inhale. Match that volume in your exhale pushing out from the bottom of your lungs, pushing out the end of winter and all you are finishing with now. Inhale what you are beginning and what you wish to bring more of into your life.
That’s it! Find a way to finish up with gratitude for the abundance in your life, and I assure you that you will be a little more refreshed for the rest of the day. Repeat as needed.

For an extended version, you may follow up with some inner time.  This might be curling up with a journal or inspirational reading.  It might be getting bundled up and taking a thoughtful walk in the woods.  (If it’s not Febrary when you are taking your mini retreat, simply find the best link to nature and your inner self-beneath-the-speed-of-life.)  Or, it might be doodling or painting a visual version of what you are finishing with and what you are beginning, either purely on a physical level or more empirically on a whole-life level. 

I wish you lovely stillness and spaciousness.

Here is a very simple technique for shifting your nervous system from fright-flight into relaxation anytime, anywhere. My training in this technique has been through Yoga study, although I do not know its exact origin.
Simply stated, one works consciously with the inhale and exhale in this way:
Breath in to a count of three, hold for three and breathe out to a count of six. You can use other counting numbers by doubling the count on the exhale.
Why does this work?

Within our autonomic nervous system, (which governs involuntary action as in intestines, heart and glands) we hold both the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic divisions.  The Sympathetic Nervous System is connected to alertness and the fight-flight, or stress, response.  The Parasympathetic Nervous System, in turn, is connected to the relaxation response.  By consciously regulating the length of our inhale or exhale we can successfully master the mood!  Read on for more detail.  Some of the jargon is medical-ese.  Just take what helps you and leave the rest.  We can revisit this universally interesting suject later for more simple techniques. 

The following is a clear explanation by Physical Therapist Bill Gallagher from his site everything-yoga.com

The Autonomic Nervous System & Respiration

Breath control is shared between the autonomic and somatic divisions of the nervous system. As such, it provides a way to manipulate the sympathetic and parasympathetic drive consciously. To elicit parasympathetic activity and the relaxation response:

1) Prolong exhalation.
2) Use a diaphragmatic pattern.
3) Slow down the breath.

To stimulate the sympathetic nervous system, increase alertness (and move toward a fight or flight response):

1) Prolong inhalation
2) Use a Thoracic or Clavicular pattern
3) Breathe rapidly

Every psychophysiological process that successful rehabilitation depends on is hampered by a chronic stress response:

1) Muscle hypertrophy: dependent on growth hormone secretion that is diminished by the stress response.
2) Motor control: mind chatter hinders attendance to critical features of the environment.
3) Wound healing: blood flow to the skin is reduced, blood sugar is elevated.
4) Pain management: the stress response increases muscle tension which usually leads to more pain.
5) Energy conservation: the excess muscle activity wastes energy.
6) Cardiac: increased arrhythmia, coagulation, blood pressure and heart rate.

Breath and the Mind

Breath can also be used as a focal point to facilitate an expansive mode of thought. Eastern philosophies see the mind as a powerful tool that, too often, is misused. Rather than letting the mind drag us (or our patient) to lots of scary places, mostly imaginary, we can focus on the breath to anchor ourselves in the present moment. Most of our anxiety has to do with thoughts about the past or the future. By using the sensation of breath as a focal point and letting go of thoughts as they arise, the fact that my thoughts are not reality becomes clear.

Myofascial Function

Breath also has a strong effect on body mechanics and myofascial function. A key component of many head, neck and shoulder pain syndromes is secondary inspiratory muscle overuse. These muscles, including sternocleidomastoideus, scalenes, pectoralis major, pectoralis minor, serratus anterior, serratus posterior superior and upper iliocostalis, are often used inappropriately for “relaxed” breathing. When these muscles are involved in every breath, breathing is far from relaxed. In a similar way, since the diaphragm does not move much in this respiratory pattern, Quadratus Lumborum and Psoas will have a tendency to develop myofascial dysfunction. Since this mode of breathing spawns numerous trigger points throughout the body it makes sense to directly address the myofascial dysfunction via manual therapy. It also makes sense to address the root cause of the disorder by teaching correct breathing mechanics.

Mechanical Function

Lumbar and pelvic stability appear to depend on optimal coordination between diaphragm, the pelvic floor and transversus abdominus. If the diaphragm does not push down on the viscera on inhalation, then transversus abdominus and the pelvic floor muscles are continually in a position of active insufficiency. In other words, these key abdominal and pelvic muscles of stability are kept in too short a position to do their jobs efficiently. If you are teaching transversus strengthening exercise without the foundation of a proper respiratory pattern, your outcomes are less likely to be positive. The diaphragm should not be thought of as solely a muscle of respiration. It is a muscle of stabilization as well. In the same way, don’t pigeon hole the pelvic floor muscles as simply muscles of continence. These muscles also play a key role in stabilizing the pelvis which, after all, is the foundation of the spine. It is quite common for low back and sacroiliac pain to coexist with stress incontinence and again, breathing patterns are the common thread running through these two disorders. Normally, the pelvic floor should move in coordination with the diaphragm. As the diaphragm pulls air into the lungs, it pushes down on the viscera, which in turn, press down on the pelvic floor to stretch it down. On exhalation, the diaphragm and pelvic floor both elevate. When thoracic respiration is the dominant pattern, the pelvic floor does not move. This lack of movement turns the pelvic floor into a “Johnny one note.” Rather than continually moving through its range of motion, it stays in one position all day long. This tends to exacerbate myofascial dysfunction that drives trigger point activation and lumbopelvic mechanical derangement. If we simply address the myofascial and joint dysfunction directly through manual therapy, we are really only doing half the job. To complete the job, we need to address root causes, which often include respiratory habits.

What causes non-diaphragmatic respiration?

1) Surgery & Trauma
When the diaphragm is pulled down to inhale, it presses down on the viscera which, in turn, press down into the pelvis, back into the flanks and forward into the abdominal wall. Normally, this gentle pressure provides a mild massage that can improve digestion, elimination and myofascial function. After surgery or trauma, the intra-abdominal pressure causes pain on a diaphragmatic inspiration. This noxious feedback encourages shallow breathing with minimal diaphragmatic excursion. Just as a limp can continue long after the foot has healed, this shallow pattern can become perpetual.

2) Sinus issues can also affect breathing patterns since diaphragmatic respiration is facilitated by the resistance provided by the sinus passages. When mouth breathing is the only option, a thoracic pattern is likely to follow.

3) Vanity can also drive a pattern that avoids abdominal movement consciously. Tight clothing can prevent optimal breathing.

4) Poor abdominal tone can discourage diaphragmatic respiration by making it less efficient.

5) Chronic mental stress and anxiety, by increasing sympathetic drive, can perpetuate a thoracic respiratory pattern.

Got all that?  If not, that’s ok.  Controlling the length of inhale or exhale will affect the sympathetic (fight-flight)or parasympathetic systems (relaxation response) respectively.  Just play around with it and see what you feel in your own body.

I’d love to hear back from you about this one.

Here’s a little New Year article about how bodywork can enhance your life.  It’s taken from massagetherapy.com

What exactly are the benefits of receiving massage or bodywork treatments? Useful for all of the conditions listed below and more, massage can:
Alleviate low-back pain and improve range of motion.
Assist with shorter, easier labor for expectant mothers and shorten maternity hospital stays.
Ease medication dependence.
Enhance immunity by stimulating lymph flow—the body’s natural defense system.
Exercise and stretch weak, tight, or atrophied muscles.
Help athletes of any level prepare for, and recover from, strenuous workouts.
Improve the condition of the body’s largest organ—the skin.
Increase joint flexibility.
Lessen depression and anxiety.
Promote tissue regeneration, reducing scar tissue and stretch marks.
Pump oxygen and nutrients into tissues and vital organs, improving circulation.
Reduce postsurgery adhesions and swelling.
Reduce spasms and cramping.
Relax and soften injured, tired, and overused muscles.
Release endorphins—amino acids that work as the body’s natural painkiller.
Relieve migraine pain.
A Powerful Ally
There’s no denying the power of bodywork. Regardless of the adjectives we assign to it (pampering, rejuvenating, therapeutic) or the reasons we seek it out (a luxurious treat, stress relief, pain management), massage therapy can be a powerful ally in your healthcare regimen.

Experts estimate that upwards of ninety percent of disease is stress related. And perhaps nothing ages us faster, internally and externally, than high stress. While eliminating anxiety and pressure altogether in this fast-paced world may be idealistic, massage can, without a doubt, help manage stress. This translates into:
Decreased anxiety.
Enhanced sleep quality.
Greater energy.
Improved concentration.
Increased circulation.
Reduced fatigue.
Furthermore, clients often report a sense of perspective and clarity after receiving a massage. The emotional balance bodywork provides can often be just as vital and valuable as the more tangible physical benefits.

Profound Effects
In response to massage, specific physiological and chemical changes cascade throughout the body, with profound effects. Research shows that with massage:
Arthritis sufferers note fewer aches and less stiffness and pain.
Asthmatic children show better pulmonary function and increased peak air flow.
Burn injury patients report reduced pain, itching, and anxiety.
High blood pressure patients demonstrate lower diastolic blood pressure, anxiety, and stress hormones.
Premenstrual syndrome sufferers have decreased water retention and cramping.
Preterm infants have improved weight gain.
Research continues to show the enormous benefits of touch—which range from treating chronic diseases, neurological disorders, and injuries, to alleviating the tensions of modern lifestyles. Consequently, the medical community is actively embracing bodywork, and massage is becoming an integral part of hospice care and neonatal intensive care units. Many hospitals are also incorporating on-site massage practitioners and even spas to treat postsurgery or pain patients as part of the recovery process.

Increase the Benefits with Frequent Visits
Getting a massage can do you a world of good. And getting massage frequently can do even more. This is the beauty of bodywork. Taking part in this form of regularly scheduled self-care can play a huge part in how healthy you’ll be and how youthful you’ll remain with each passing year. Budgeting time and money for bodywork at consistent intervals is truly an investment in your health. And remember: just because massage feels like a pampering treat doesn’t mean it is any less therapeutic. Consider massage appointments a necessary piece of your health and wellness plan, and work with your practitioner to establish a treatment schedule that best meets your needs.

Review the clinical research studies examining the benefits of massage.

Review massage information from the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine, a division of the National Institutes of Health.

During a recent period of high stress, I watched myself beginning a nosedive of despair. Though there is always a bit of me that wants to follow a dive when they happen because it feels like the natural course in a way, this time I had too much responsibility to take that ride.
Fortunately, I had just found a link through a coaching newsletter for a book written by Brooke Castillo, called Self Coaching 101. Her writing is influenced by some of my favorite spiritual and personal development leaders, such as Pema Chodron and Byron Katie. Ms. Castillo has written an ebook (free at this moment of publishing) that is so easy to read and to apply that it took only a matter of an hour or so of applying her method to pull me right up out of my despair and looking ahead into the present and the near future.
Here’s the gist:
When something difficult happens, we take a look at the following categories in this order:
1.  circumstances
2.  thoughts
3.  feelings
4.  actions
5.  outcomes
I hope I don’t do too much of a disservice to her work, but this is my synopsis of the flow of the work.
Circumstances happen. To all of us. What happens next, and what separates one person’s experience from another is the way we think about it. Those thoughts provoke actions which create outcomes.

The outcomes of our process are actually a tangible method to measure how negative thoughts weigh in on the quality of our lives.  Sounding too abstract?  Here’s an example:

Circumstance:  Your car gets towed on a frigid night out in the city.

Thoughts:  I am so stupid!  Why didn’t I look around for signs on the sidewalk?  I am always doing things like this and now I need to pay some dumb tow company $150.00 to get it back.  That’s what I was going to buy Christmas presents with.  Why would they do this to people during the holidays?  I have such bad luck!

Emotions: Panic.  Despair.  Frustration.  Remorse.  Loss.

Actions:  Angrily storm into the tow company’s office and complain about the policy.  Throw down your hard-earned money and have a really crummy ride home.

Outcome:  Reinforced sense of being stupid when the tow company employees respond to your rant by telling you it’s your own fault.  Ruined night on the town and deeply discouraged about the holidays.  No lessons learned. 

Ok, so if we take a more thoughtful approach, an approach that is spacious and uses some deep breath to look for our responsibility and what to do to prevent this happening again, it might look more like this:

Circumstance:  Your car gets towed on a frigid night out in the city.

Thoughts:  Wow.  My car isn’t here.  Now I see a sign that warns about towing during winter.  My bad.  This is going to be expensive.  Not fun but I can handle this and be more careful in the future.

Emotions:  Discomfort, yet balanced and focused.  Nobody likes to have a car towed.

Actions:  Decide to get a hot cup of coffee and find a taxi to the tow company.  Write your check for $150.00 and wish them happy holidays.  Think about all the fun parts of the night before the car was towed, and brainstorm gifts for your family/friends that don’t cost money…e.g. take them sledding, make a meal, burn a CD, write a poem.

Outcome:  Lesson learned, plus a feeling of capability that you handled a difficult situation without losing your grip.

Where would you tend to fall in response to that situation?  Somewhere in the middle?  Just as outraged?  Can you see the beauty of the process of finding a more thoughtful solution?  With this work, when you find yourself coming unhinged and can see yourself going into a negative spin, just ask yourself what thought might help you to feel better.  Even a little better.  One can see that the outcomes are quite different.

I purposely used an example that wasn’t particularly ‘deep’ in a personal sense.  Is there a situation in your life that really hits a nerve?  If you take some time to think about and write out your responses and outcomes I assure you that you will gain insight.  Try this out for yourself with a situation you’re in, and maybe it will illuminate a blueprint of a pattern of reaction.   Relationships, work stresses, finances, plans; whatever seems old and stuck.  All of these things can be transformed gradually by applying this cognitive shifting technique.

Wishing you many blessings during this holiday time.

It’s been a month now since I posted the beginning of, and experiement with, starting a new habit. Just quickly, the new theory is that it takes at least 21 days for a new habit to take hold. I chose an issue that was bugging me: inconsistent yoga practice. Voila! I have had good progress.  I practiced first thing, just out of bed, every day but one. On that day I did manage to practice later in the afternoon.
There is a lot of payoff for starting your habit. The things you want to make part of your life actually do become part of your life. In my case, I feel more stretched and healthy. I feel somewhat accomplished first thing in the morning which is nice, too. After about week three, there was a sense that I wanted to go beyond the basics, to get playful and experimental. So there is depth of experience by making your habit consistent, too.
I just feel really happy about finally accomplishing this feat, about putting me first right away upon rising. It helps one to remember that we are not stuck forever with the way things are. With coaching or with self-determination you can get yourself on track to begin some very powerful plans.

Will I stick with it?  Can I fall off the wagon again?  Maybe to both.  But once a habit has gained a toehold there is more balance on the side of climbing back on the wagon or staying on the wagon, so to speak.  I will need to be determined.  I will need to prioritze my morning activity.  Support strategies such as reminding my family of my commitment (so they don’t expect my interaction during that time) are helpful. 
I’d love to help you to start a new habit with coaching.  Helping people find their inner resources is one of the things I do best and love most.  So here’s the question I pose to you now:   What will you start?

Good luck and please let me know.

Last weekend I took a heartfelt excursion from my home in southwest New Hampshire to the suburbs west of Boston to visit my good friend, Yaron.  I consider him a world-class bodyworker and teacher, and have been lucky to call him my friend since 1996 when we studied together in a year-long intensive in deep tissue massage and structural bodywork.  I needed Yaron’s input about career direction questions that have me feeling stuck.  So I talked and talked ad nauseum and he listened with 100% presence.  What a gift.

As we walked and ate soup (not at the same time) through these conversations he told me that it was when I talked about a workshop that I teach, called “How Much Joy Can You Stand?” that I lit up the most.  I was animated and happy while discussing what it is all about, what potential it has to move us out of discouragement, especially in times such as these.   His feedback gave me a lot to think about on the quiet ride back home, and in this week since then.  What is it about this particular workshop that makes me so happy?  How does it tap into the essence, somehow, of what I aspire to do with my time on Earth?  So, that is what I want to write about today.  Maybe it can help you, too, to tap into your own essence.

The How Much Joy Can You Stand? workshop is based on the book of the same name by Suzanne Falter-Barns.  I have bought the rights to teach the workshop from her organization, and am encouraged by her to morph the material in any way that suits my work.  Basically, the concept that forms the core of the work comes from a problem that just about every one of us faces from time to time.  We have an great idea of/for something, anything, we want to make happen in our lives (e.g. fitness, write a book, travel, weight loss, romance, entreprenuership, etc.) but we don’t know how to go about making it actually happen.  And, we have a lot of excuses about why any sane person would never go out on a limb like that to follow a crazy idea that is doomed to failure!

What happens during our time together as a group is akin to shining a powerful laser on that particular idea, and helping it to shine and bloom from attention.   I’d have to say it’s something like half pragmatic and half miracle!  I truly love what happens in this workshop.  Being surrounded by a small group of others who are equally motivated to move their own idea forward gives us all a palpable feeling of support and interest.  We move through exercises designed to uncover our dreams and explore what is there for us, to look at questioning our excuses, and to build strategy for beginning it and following through.  The foundational design is a belief that you have what you need to make this happen already formed inside yourself.  I am there to facilitate that process of realization and offer creative experiences to make sure that: 1) you begin to understand just how powerful you can be at creating the life of your dreams, and 2) you develop some structures that keep you from giving up!

That’s a quick snapshot for now.  If you a hold a half-covered dream inside yourself that you have sort of given up on, think about this:  What would happen if you were given the opportunity to spend a day with others like you who would cheer for you, strategize with you, and help to move you forward to the life of your dreams?  Believe me, it is magical.

I can honestly say I have never had a bad day at work as a massage therapist.  Working as I have over the years in indvidual sessions has been so satisfying and, well, touching.  Sorry for the pun.  The depth of honesty, the transformational power of attending to another, and the beauty of witnessing the human body move into greater health gives back to me as much as I give to others.  Truly.

Occasionally clients have expressed to me how important our work has been in their lives via a poem.  I have saved them because they are so beautiful.  They remind me just how significant my help has been in their lives and toward their growth as people.  Recently I came upon a poem from a client from twenty years ago.  Besides being beautifully written, by a professional writer, it reminds me of another time for it was typed on a typewriter in an old-fashioned font.  Pre-internet and Microsoft Word.  The translucent parchment-like typing paper is yellowing just a bit, and curling at all four corners.  Because the poem speaks of the spacious simplicity of presence, I feel the typed version is as perfect as an art piece.  Try to think about the last time you experienced the world as this quiet.  I haven’t spoken to this client in many years but I would like to share her poem with you here.  Because I don’t have her permission to use her name I will leave that out for now.  I hope to reach her soon. 

Just a small visual cue about my office as a way of ’seeing’ the poem.  It has two large windows facing west to gardens and hills.  In summer the windows are often open.  Here it is:

Love Poem to a Therapist (to her hands, to her art)

for Susan

This evening

I take off my clothes

and lie on line-dried sheets,

The window is open, a hum.

The Green Mountains are purple,

the flowers are purple,

pollen on the table.

In shifting squares of evening,

I wait for you,

for sudden breath releasing,

palm-warmed oil.

For pulling neck to hairline,

fingers to occipital,

your form obscuring new stars.

It is dark.

I am still.

Your touch is firm, I soften.

Sometimes lately I feel as if I don’t remember how to relax completely anymore, I mean really relax.  When was the last time you felt that?  This line of thinking brought me to the writing of a poem several years ago about the end of life when we finally lose the chronic bits of holding that have grabbed us over the course of a lifetime, freeing us to begin the next phase.  The poem was actually written in a sprituality workshop with one of my favorite teachers, the wonderful Gail Straub.

PREPARING FOR STILLNESS

When I die,

won’t you lay me gently in a mountain stream?

Face up to the sky.

Feet downstream.

Flesh wrapped in silk

and strewn with flower petals.

So that in this body’s

last

ride on Earth

I may swoosh gracefully,

finally tensionless,

over polished boulders;

be swayed lazily around

meandering bends and dips.

The pull of an eddy

may

spin me dizzy

and spit me out.

 No fear.

All the while you, my Beloveds,

and I will trust

in my eventual arrival

at the smooth and fertile delta

of Mother Sea

where bones may deeply rest

and soul take flight.

 First Prize

Chesterfield, NH Author’s Contest

2006